Mindful Holiday Gift Giving

Co-written with Kacie Berghoef

The holidays are here again this year! No matter which one of several holidays you celebrate this December, most likely you’ll be buying gifts for your family, friends, and coworkers – or all of the above! Trying to choose the right gift for everyone you care about can be one of the holiday season’s biggest sources of stress.

Your gift giving style depends on a number of factors, one of which is your Enneagram type. As we’re gearing up for the biggest shopping month of the year, remember that it’s possible to consume mindfully and get gifts that everyone enjoys. Here’s a tip to help each Enneagram type reduce holiday shopping stress:

One – Your gift to your loved one doesn’t need to be perfect. Instead of angsting over what just the right gift is for someone, get something “good enough” that comes from the heart. The special person in your life will still love and appreciate your perfectly imperfect gift!

Two – Remember, buying gifts is an expression of love, but a truly selfless gift giver gives without expecting anything in return. If you have expectations around a specific buy getting you something, return it for a gift that feels lower-stakes to you emotionally.

Three – You’re great at reading people and attuning to what they want, but remember to stay humble about the gifts you give. Give your loved ones time to enjoy unwrapping the gifts and thank you in their own way this holiday season.

Four – Keep in mind that the person you’re buying a gift for may have different taste than you. You may love patterns and find stripes distasteful, but if that’s what the person enjoys and requested, avoid self-indulgence by buying their gift of choice.

Five – ‘Tis the season for generosity! It’s important to conserve resources and buy a gift within your budget, of course, but avoid being too conservative in your choices with your nearest and dearest. A thoughtful gift will show your deep caring to your loved ones.

Six – Gift-giving is one way you express your commitment to others, and you’ll feel better if you reduce your anxiety around it. Instead of debating endlessly in your head and asking others what to get your loved ones, trust your own guidance of what they will like.

Seven – You delight in the fun of giving others gifts, but before you buy, make a habit of getting your loved one’s wish list. It can be so easy for you to see the fun in everything, that you need to keep in mind not everyone will enjoy the same types of gifts as you.

Eight – Work towards relinquishing control this holiday season. Get your family the gifts they’d enjoy, instead of imposing your will of what you think they need or should prefer. Be gentle and magnanimous in meeting everyone’s needs.

Nine – Stay proactive this holiday season by not only actively asking the people in your life what they’d like for the holidays, but challenging yourself to let them know what gifts you’d appreciate, too. That way, you can enjoy a holiday with empowered giving and receiving.

Remember, no matter what you buy or don’t buy for your loved ones this holiday season, the real meaning of the holidays is getting to spend time together with the people you care about. There’s always something to celebrate over the holidays. Relax and enjoy!