Category: Enneagram

August 5, 2015

Meeting the Instinctual Needs of Different Organizations

Co-written with Kacie Berghoef

Working with different organizations is a fascinating study in contrasts. Moving from one group to another, we’ve witnessed focuses and needs that required vastly different approaches.

The Enneagram’s Instincts are a useful model for understanding the priorities and needs of organizations as well as individuals. The Instincts represent unconscious drives, or groups of related behaviors, that seek to get our core needs met. They are a more fundamental part of the way we work than personality type, and can be viewed as an independent mini-typology. People of each personality type can be driven by each of the three Instincts. We share all three, but they are present in individuals and groups to varying degrees, with one running the show and shaping core values.

Different dominant Instincts in organizations call for different approaches. Here are three case studies from our teaching to demonstrate what each Instinct looks like as a dominant focus in organizations, and to share ideas about how to meet the needs of these different types of groups.

Social

A group we worked with recently was dominated by the concerns and energy of the Social Instinct, which is focused on navigating community dynamics. A non-profit that exists to serve the needs of a marginalized community, its team members are a good mix of members of that community and external advocates. When we walked through the door, we saw people milling around, checking in with each other. The room buzzed with talk. It was clear from the way people interacted, before and during our workshop, that inclusion was a priority.

Unsurprisingly for this organization, the workshop we’d been invited to teach focused on communication; it became clear that this group had brought us in to meet Social Instinct needs. We took our cues from the group and focused on creating avenues for engagement. We prioritized group activities that facilitated understanding between members, and left the floor open for lots of questions and discussion.

Self-Preservation

After working with that lively group, the next one came as a bit of a surprise. This organization was focused on holistic health and wellness, and the physical space reflected that philosophy. Soft colors abounded, and rooms were spacious. Our point person was ready to attend to any physical needs our presentation involved, from tweaking the air conditioning to making sure we had writing supplies. We’d arrived in a headquarters dominated by the Self-Preservation Instinct, which is focused on preserving stability, well-being, and resources.

The people at our workshop seemed as mellow as the space. They were quiet, composed, and moved with deliberation. It soon became clear that they wanted a workshop that matched the organization’s stabilizing values. They prioritized comfort in their space, so we moderated things like temperature and seating, striving to make sure the group was comfortable. In our activities, we focused on mindfulness, giving participants time to relax and ground themselves.

Transmitting / Sexual

Another organization was interested in a growth-oriented workshop. As with the previous group, the environment was beautiful, but in a more attention-grabbing way. Both the space and the people shone with rich colors and decorations, and the group actively sought a non-traditional approach. This organization’s dominant influence is often called the Sexual Instinct in relationships or personal work, as it’s the drive behind reproduction. Transmitting is a more accurate description of this Instinct’s role in organizations, since it drives them to bring information, services, products, or messages into the world.

The group was enthusiastic and honed in on us as speakers. They wanted a workshop that would push them to see themselves more clearly and make changes. Picking up on this Transmitting group’s driven energy, we worked on making our material and delivery fresh and exciting to keep their attention. We brought in innovative approaches and engaged with the group’s focused follow-up questions as they sought to know more.

Think about the groups or teams that you’re a part of. Which Instinct runs the show for each one? What needs and strengths do these dominant Instincts present in the groups you know best?

July 2, 2015

Why Self-Awareness Matters

IMG_0650 - Copy Co-written with Kacie Berghoef

If you were a Greek citizen in the 4th century B.C., traveling to the Temple of Apollo at Delphi to listen to the Oracle’s wisdom, you’d find this inscription on the wall: “Know thyself.” In more recent years, self-awareness gets less press than flashier qualities like ambition and charisma. However, it matters just as much today as it did in ancient Greece. Here are 4 ways that self-awareness, one of the biggest results of learning the Enneagram, benefits our work and daily life.

It builds business success.

A 2009 study found high self-awareness to be the top predictor of executives’ success. These self-aware executives are more likely to hire people who excel in their own areas of weakness, and to recognize when others’ ideas are better than their own. Most businesses require skills beyond what their leadership team is immediately able to provide. Self-aware leaders can recognize these gaps and make judicious choices about when to acquire these skills and when to outsource. They structure their teams intelligently and are open to learning from others. Not only does their willingness to delegate create a happier and more cohesive team; it also pays off in dollars. A 2015 study of 486 public companies’ financial performance found that the highest-earning companies had the most self-aware employees with the fewest blind spots – areas that professionals named as personal strengths but their colleagues’ feedback revealed to be personal weaknesses.

It improves time management.

We all want to spend our time on things we care about. If social justice gets you moving, you’d probably be happiest contributing your time to the greater good, whether that’s volunteering in a soup kitchen on the weekends or founding an NGO. If you value the impact and experience of speaking to crowds, you might drag your feet in a career that revolves around one-on-one work or working from home. If you’re a person that needs a lot of solitude, your ideal schedule will look different than that of someone who values lots of family time. Becoming aware of what motivates you allows you to make wise choices about how to spend your time, both professionally and personally.

It helps you find a niche.

Having a good sense of your strengths can tip you off to the type of work that’s best suited to you. If you’re great at building relationships with people, let that permeate your career, whether through direct client work or B2B marketing. If you’re gifted at working with your hands, see if you can use that ability even if you’re in a seemingly unrelated field. (We’ve both had colleagues who were lauded for their beautiful office decorations!) Once you have a good sense of how and where you bring the most value, let it guide the choices you make. It might just become the thing you’re known for, the catalyst of your personal success story.

It strengthens relationships.

We all have tendencies that drive other people crazy. Self-awareness allows us to see them. If you find yourself criticizing or dominating (or whatever pattern you do that gets on people’s nerves), take a moment to notice what’s going on in your body. See if you can step back from your reaction and choose a different way to engage. The important people in your life will thank you! What’s more, when you’re open and attentive rather than habit-driven, other people will be more open, too. They’ll feel more appreciated and connect to you more easily. Having a daily self-observation practice, like mindfulness or yoga, is helpful in building these self-awareness skills. If you practice noticing your mind’s tricks on the mat, it will become easier to notice them among friends, colleagues, and family.

No matter what your personality type is, you’ll reap benefits from building self-awareness. Are there subtle ways you can restructure your life to play to your strengths? Are there small steps you can take to mitigate your challenges? As you learn more about yourself, what actions can you take to help you thrive?

June 2, 2015

Understanding Your Family

goats Co-written with Kacie Berghoef

Families are some of the most powerful relationships around. They’re the first relationships we’re involved in, and the patterns of interaction that we develop in our families shape the rest of our lives. We think it’s unlikely that parents or upbringing define Enneagram type; take any set of siblings and you’ll find that their view of the same childhood moments differs radically. However, our families have a lasting impact on our well-being. Healthy families increase children’s confidence and capacity for resilience, while unhealthy families make it harder for kids to develop these skills.

We can choose our partners, but for the most part, we don’t choose parents, siblings, children, and other relatives. Sometimes we have a lot in common with family members, and their differing skills and perspectives smoothly complement our own. Other times, we find ourselves diverging from the values of other family members, or being set off by their personality tics. For better or worse, families make great laboratories for learning how to get along with different kinds of people!

If you find yourself wondering why your mother has to go on about her health so much, or what possessed your teenager to get that tattoo, the Enneagram can help. By understanding what motivates our family members, we’re better able to connect with them. Instead of hoping to make them more like us, we can show up with attention, compassion, and hold space for family members to be the best versions of exactly who they are.

Here are some ways you can hold space for your family members of all Enneagram types:

Type One: The family Perfectionists, Ones are upstanding and lead the family by example, but can get critical when you diverge from their rules. Connect with the Ones in your family by encouraging them to have fun, and letting them know that you value them just as they are.

Type Two: Two Helpers seek to meet family members’ unstated needs through acts of service, caring, and sometimes intrusion. Connect with the Twos in your family by acknowledging the importance of their needs and showing them love no matter what they do.

Type Three: Three Achievers inspire their families. They often squelch their own desires by picking up on their family’s dreams and striving to become the family success story. Connect with the Threes in your family by guiding them to follow their own interests and desires.

Type Four: Four Individualists add soul to the family, and also bring shadows into the open – making sure families can’t forget things they don’t want to acknowledge. Connect with the Fours in your family by taking responsibility for the past, and holding emotional steadiness.

Type Five: Five Investigators bring rich expertise to their families, but may be difficult to engage otherwise. Connect with the Fives in your family by allowing them the space they need, while nurturing them in developing emotional connections with others.

Type Six: Six Loyalists show steadfast commitment to family, but may test family members for loyalty, and sometimes rebel. Connect with the Sixes in your family by showing them that you’re trustworthy and devoted, while being steady and clear with your boundaries.

Type Seven: Seven Enthusiasts stir up excitement and make family gatherings fun, but may act out when they get bored and frustrated. Connect with the Sevens in your family by savoring joy together – especially mindful, everyday joy – and supporting them during the hard times.

Type Eight: Eight Challengers are protective of family members but sometimes also push to exert control over the family. Connect with the Eights in your family by showing strength and solidity, but also allowing them to be vulnerable and lean on you when they need to.

Type Nine: Nine Peacemakers create a harmonious, cohesive family environment, which sometimes means they sweep problems under the rug. Connect with the Nines in your family by sharing pleasant times, while encouraging them to speak up and assert their needs.

May 5, 2015

The Cross-Cultural Enneagram

Co-written with Kacie Berghoef

From what we’ve seen, Enneagram types exist across culture – that is, cultures throughout the world will have people who display qualities from all the Enneagram types and Instincts. Nonetheless, each country and culture has a dominant cultural overlay, which has a personality type of its own. People absorb the values taught by their culture, which impact how they display their own dominant type. In Melanie’s Canadian culture, for example, people are encouraged to be polite and collaborative – values of type Nine and the Social Instinct. In Kacie’s American culture, citizens learn the values of independence, ambition, and hard work, the “American Dream” rooted in Type Three and the Self-Preservation Instinct.

Despite knowing that we came from different countries, we were still surprised when cultural differences unrelated to our types came up when we started working together. For example, Melanie would say “Sorry” as an instinctive reaction when things didn’t go as planned. After several months, Kacie asked Melanie why. She explained that Canadians say sorry in a multitude of situations as a form of politeness, a cultural subtlety very different from the more assertive American culture.

As we prepare to travel to Canada for the Canadian Enneagram Conference this month, cultural differences are heavily on our minds. We’re busy thinking up ways to adapt our presentation to a less assertive, more community-oriented culture than the American audiences we usually work with. At times Melanie, the Canadian on our team, has found herself acting as “cultural translator” and explaining Canadian communication norms.

When you connect with people from different cultures, whether in work, travel for pleasure, or in your daily life, you can use the Enneagram not only to understand their individual differences but to gain a better sense of the culture you’re interacting with. Listen to what people around you talk about. Notice the values and beliefs they take for granted. Each Enneagram type operates from a set of assumptions projected onto the world at large. Just like we expect others to share our personality-based motivations and way of seeing things, we also expect others to share the cultural viewpoint that we’re accustomed to. These things are so ingrained that we often don’t realize there are other worldviews out there that differ drastically from our own.

When you look at cultural and personal Enneagram types side by side, you’ll find that they don’t always match closely. A Type Eight, for instance, might find their strength and assertiveness valued in one culture, while they might have a harder time in a culture that values quiet and conformity. In what way is your dominant Enneagram type and Instinct similar or different to what your country’s culture values? Understanding how your type and culture work together adds nuance to an action plan to improve your communication with other people, and supports companies in doing international business productively and successfully.

Using the Enneagram also makes it easier to identify human similarities across cultures. Our colleagues in the Enneagram field have taught it to groups of Israelis and Palestinians who worked together, as well as South African teams different races and backgrounds, and found it to build cross-cultural bridges between people of the same Enneagram type. Often, two Sixes or two Ones who start a workshop thinking they have nothing in common discover that they share a set of values and behaviors that goes beyond their culture. Even “us vs. them” dynamics sometimes transform into “Me too!”s, and a new understanding is born.

The Enneagram is a useful tool for improving our communication, relationships, and self-awareness. Developing cultural competence through an Enneagram lens help us grow and develop these skills in an even more powerful way.

April 19, 2015

How to Get Along with Your Coworkers

Co-written with Kacie Berghoef

We spend most of our waking hours at work, dealing with a wide variety of people. From co-workers to clients and bosses to customers, we’re bound to run into a diverse array of personality types. Some of the people we work with think similarly to us, but others have such different ways of communicating and getting their job done that we feel like they come from another planet!

Maybe you work with someone like Andre. Whenever you walk through the door, he greets you with a big smile. When you need an extra pencil or stapler, and sometimes when you don’t, there he is with a new one in his hand. He likes to take everyone out to lunch and catch up on how they’re doing. He knows all his officemates’ birthdays, and brings the same personal touch to his customer service.

While Andre is generally liked by his colleagues, for some of them he can be a little much. Gloria, a reserved thinker, is overwhelmed by his gregarious approach. Colleagues call her “the walking encyclopedia,” and rely on her to find resources and explain new systems. She uses long stretches of time in her office to research and strategize.

Andre wonders why Gloria doesn’t like him. Gloria wonders why Andre intrudes on her space.

Andre’s dominant Enneagram type is Two, the Helper, while Gloria’s is Five, the Investigator. On the surface, the two of them have little in common. With the help of the Enneagram, they can bridge their personality differences and come to a new understanding of each other.

Here are some ways that Andre and Gloria (or you and the people in your workplace) can use the Enneagram to understand each other and work together more effectively.

Find common ground.

While Andre and Gloria have different ways of interacting, their personality types share certain values and motives. Twos and Fives both want to make a significant contribution and fulfill a certain indispensable role on their team. Both of these types have a strong need to be valued for the talents and skills they bring to the office. Other commonalities between Enneagram types might include communication styles, conflict resolution styles, or dominant Instincts. With a new understanding of their commonality, Gloria and Andre can connect around their shared values. They can make active efforts to acknowledge and appreciate each other’s divergent but equally valuable roles they fill in the team.

Understand and respect differences.

Not only do Andrea and Gloria have different ways of interacting; they also have different needs. Andre needs a lot of engagement with other people, while Gloria needs sufficient solitude to generate ideas. When they look at their relationship through the other person’s eyes, they’re able to develop ways to get their own needs met while connecting with each other. Andre realizes that the best way to help and connect with Gloria is to allow her alone time when she needs it, while Gloria understands that she’ll have a smoother relationship with Andre if she makes an effort to reach out and engage.

Two and Five are just two of the nine types you’ll encounter in the workplace. We wrote an e-book to share what we’ve learned about how all the Enneagram types act at work, and how to collaborate effectively with each of them. In Decoding Personality in the Workplace, you’ll read about nine different people who act a lot like people you know, and discover ways to leverage your own work performance. You can download your copy at no cost by filling out the form at this link.

You’ll get a couple e-mails before you can download the book – one to confirm your e-mail address, and then one that gives you the link to the download page. (See instructions below.)

Happy reading!

April 2, 2015

Resolving Conflict with the Enneagram

20140927_171057 (1)

Co-written with Kacie Berghoef

Think back to the last time you got into a conflict. Did you see the situation one way while the other person had a completely different way of looking at things? Maybe you wanted to work things out logically but the other person kept telling you to look on the bright side, or asking how you felt about the issue. Maybe it was the other way around.

No matter how much we work on ourselves, sometimes unavoidable challenges, breakdowns in communication, and misunderstandings lead to conflict with others. Conflict isn’t always bad; it empowers parties to increase their understanding of each other and move forward in a way that benefits everyone. In order to keep conflict positive and solution-focused, it’s helpful to learn how others react under stress.

Borrowing from ideas in psychology, Don Riso and Russ Hudson identified three Harmonic Groups, clusters of personality types that react in distinctive ways when facing conflict. Here’s a brief introduction to the Harmonic Groups, with ideas for resolving differences with people of every style.

The Positive Outlook Triad (Enneagram types 2, 7, and 9) wants to look on the rosy side of things. When in conflict, their first instinct is to avoid sweating the small stuff and look at the best possible outcome. At the high side of this style, positive outlook types frame challenges into a broader context and assist others in seeing when conflicts do – and don’t – need to be addressed. The challenge is that sometimes people who use this dominant style avoid actively addressing conflicts when necessary, causing them to grow bigger. Positive Outlook types benefit from having teammates frame conflicts in a positive way, including showing how immediately addressing the problem will help in the big picture.

The Competency Triad (Enneagram types 1, 3, and 5) wants to solve problems using their objectivity. When in conflict, their first instinct is to use logic and analysis to discuss and solve the presenting challenge. At its best, this style keeps the focus of the team on the problem and quickly identifies and implements a great solution to the conflict. The challenge is that sometimes people who use this dominant style get bogged down in details, causing overly long discussions and solutions that miss the big picture. Competency types benefit from having teammates bring in the broader picture and emotional weight any decision carries, by describing it in a solution-oriented manner.

The Emotional Realness Triad (Enneagram types 4, 6, and 8) wants to address the underlying emotional dynamics of problems. Their first instinct in a conflict situation is to express their feelings – both positive and negative – and to learn the feelings of others involved. When used well, all the parties quickly learn where the other stands and proceed to a resolution that takes into account everyone’s desires. The challenge is that sometimes people who use this dominant style can get caught in a never-ending loop of expressing emotions, without coming to a solution. Emotional Realness types benefit from having teammates disclose their honest feelings (in a manner appropriate to the situation), while also steering the conversation to finding a resolution.

Each Harmonic Group, at its highest level of expression, brings gifts to conflict resolution. The highest mode of conflict resolution involves using all three styles: drawing on the strengths of your own style while integrating the gifts of the other two. As we learn to use conflict resolution strategies that don’t come as naturally to us, we bring smoother sailing to life’s challenges. How will you bring all three styles into your office and home this week?

March 2, 2015

Finding Wisdom in Your Enneagram Type

Inspiration Village at Wisdom 2.0

Co-written with Kacie Berghoef

This past weekend, Kacie volunteered at the Wisdom 2.0 Conference in San Francisco. In an era where mindfulness practices are increasingly utilized in the business and tech world, Wisdom 2.0 provides a platform for like-minded people to connect and strategize around bringing empowered conscientiousness into the workplace. This weekend offered an opportunity to share insights and witness the wisdom we all have to contribute.

We see the Enneagram as a powerful tool to bring greater wisdom into the world – whether it’s in businesses, communities, or ourselves. What the Enneagram shows us is that there are many types of understanding and insight one can have – nine, to be specific! Our own wisdom helps us take action in ways that strengthen our communities, make our workplaces more productive, and deepen our bonds with others. We have the greatest access to the wisdom our type brings to the world, but as multifaceted human beings, we can access the brilliance of all nine types.

Here are a few kinds of wisdom that each Enneagram type has to offer:

Type One brings wisdom through integrity. Healthy Ones are fair and bring justice to the world around them. They become examples of walking your talk. They teach all of us to live honest lives.

Type Two brings wisdom through compassion. Healthy Twos are caring and bring unconditional love for self and others. They become examples of lovingly meeting others’ needs. They teach us how to care for ourselves.

Type Three brings wisdom through authenticity. Healthy Threes are accomplished and bring value to the world around them. They become examples of being your best self. They teach us how to take pride in who we are.

Type Four brings wisdom through self-awareness. Healthy Fours are sensitive and bring creativity to the world. They become examples of expressing your personal truth. They teach us how to cultivate our own voice.

Type Five brings wisdom through understanding. Healthy Fives are non-judgmental and full of open-minded curiosity. They become examples of finding innovative answers. They teach us how to be still in a busy world.

Type Six brings wisdom through guidance. Healthy Sixes are grounded and oriented to a sense of purpose. They become examples of knowing just how to provide support. They teach us how to be our own best advocates.

Type Seven brings wisdom through freedom. Healthy Sevens see limitless options and engage fully in life. They become examples of bringing joy to all facets of life. They teach us how to see the best in everything.

Type Eight brings wisdom through confidence. Healthy Eights are protective and empower others around them. They become examples of living fully without apology. They teach us how to find our internal strength.

Type Nine brings wisdom through acceptance. Healthy Nines are receptive and fully self-possessed. They become examples of living harmoniously. They teach us how to live in a way that is connected to the world around us.

What kind of wisdom do you bring? What’s one action you can take this week to use this wisdom to improve the world around you?

February 2, 2015

Getting Your Needs Met in Relationships

Co-written with Kacie Berghoef

We all know wonderful relationships where opposites attract. For example, one person might tend to the home and hearth, while the other cultivates the couple’s circle of friends. When both people appreciate each other’s contributions, their connection thrives! The whole becomes more than the sum of its parts. But sometimes it’s difficult for people to understand their partner’s priorities. When that happens, it helps to take a look at both people’s needs.

Learning the Enneagram Instincts teaches us the unconscious drives behind our relationship behavior. Instincts are biological and work to ensure our survival, individually and as a species. The Enneagram describes three that we share with much of the animal kingdom: the Self-Preservation, Sexual, and Social Instincts. These drives shape our behavior in both subtle and obvious ways. We all use all three of these Instincts, but one of them, our dominant Instinct, shapes our focus in life and relationships. It’s helpful to learn which Instinct is dominant for both ourselves and our partners.

The Self-Preservation Instinct is focused on survival, physical well-being, and maintaining a foundation in the world. This can show up as a focus on health, work and practical know-how, or domesticity. People with a dominant Self-Preservation Instinct value conserving energy, so tend to be more low-key in their activities. If your partner has a dominant Self-Preservation Instinct, they’re looking for someone to come home to and relax with–a source of solace. They appreciate having a partner they can build and savor a life with.

The Sexual Instinct is focused on stimulation, exploration, and having a person or passion to focus on intensely. People with a dominant Sexual Instinct are natural risk-takers, seeking to display, attract, and have their energy met. They’re compelled to “burn fuel” for the sake of creating something or reaching that next frontier. If your partner has a dominant Sexual Instinct, they’re looking for a relationship that provides an energetic connection. They appreciate having a partner who maintains excitement and novelty.

The Social Instinct is focused on cooperation, contribution, and maintaining awareness of the people around us. People with a dominant Social Instinct value bonding and shared play. They are adaptable and attentive to interdependence, but deliberate about which communities to participate in. If your partner has a dominant Social Instinct, they’re looking for a relationship built on reciprocity, shared interests, and mutual support. They appreciate having a partner who’s a teammate as well as a playmate.

In all relationships, it takes consideration and good communication to meet each others’ needs. When each person has a different dominant Instinct, conscious effort is important to understand what the other person values. What qualities do you each bring to the table, and how can you work together to ensure you both get your needs met? When both people share the same dominant Instinct, it’s important to understand how your views of that Instinct’s priorities are similar or different. What strengths do you share, and how can you work together to bring the other two Instincts into your relationship? Putting in this effort leads to rich relationships, with each partner bringing different, vital contributions.

January 12, 2015

San Francisco Neighborhoods by Enneagram Type

IMG_20141215_173728 Co-written with Kacie Berghoef

Enneagram types are not only found in people. They also exist in the spirits of places and cultures. When we traveled to Portugal for the European Enneagram Conference last year, we found ourselves in a somber country of beautiful tiled buildings and fado performances: soulful, melancholy musical laments. We’d arrived in a type Four country. Returning to the much faster paced U.S., we picked up strains of Three (efficiency, racing to the top) and Seven (endless entertainment options). Workplace cultures can likewise embody types, as do cities and communities. Just for fun, we’ve put together an Enneagram tour of the neighborhoods in our home city, San Francisco. Whatever your type, it truly has something for everyone!

Type One – The Financial District. High-reaching architecture and manicured parks frame the orderly Financial District, where every day on the clock, smartly dressed people go to work. This part of the city is where business gets done, and it maintains firm boundaries by closing down on evenings and weekends. It features a selection of ethically sourced restaurants.

Type Two – Noe Valley. Nurturing and family-oriented, there are lots of events for kids, and during the daytime you’ll see numerous parents with young children walking down the street. This neighborhood is attractive and beautifully maintained, while minimizing pretension. Local business on 24th Street take care of residents with frequent discounts and free samples.

Type Three – Pacific Heights. Image is particularly important in this neighborhood full of beautifully restored Victorian homes. This area of the city boasts the highest-end stores and boutiques in the city, and residents are well-dressed and take pride in their accomplishments and appearance. The neighborhood looks and feels good and exudes self-confidence.

Type Four – The Mission. A traditionally Mexican neighborhood, these days it hosts an eclectic group, from its traditional residents to quirky artists to tech employees. This edgy neighborhood values individuality and attracts funky music venues and coffee shops. Murals flourish everywhere. It’s proud of the gritty edge it retains even as the area gentrifies.

Type Five – South of Market (SOMA). San Francisco’s tech sector, which attracts a lot of Fives, is centered in this neighborhood. Originality, innovation, ideas, and a practical way of life rule here. Cloistered among modern apartment buildings and convenient amenities, SOMA residents can remain in a bubble detached from SF’s other communities.

Type Six – Bernal Heights. Highly community oriented, this neighborhood wants input from all its voices. It has a community center, neighborhood watch, and frequent meetings all residents are invited to attend. Residents greet each other as they walk by. Bernal Heights takes care of its own, highly valuing long-term, committed residents.

Type Seven – The Castro. San Francisco’s traditionally gay neighborhood is inclusive and fun for all. Endless bars, clubs, entertainment, and other nightlife stay open late, and it hosts several festivities and street fairs throughout the year. There are fun, quirky shopping options, and residents aren’t afraid to get wild. The atmosphere here is celebratory and exciting.

Type Eight – The Fillmore. Tough and sturdy, San Francisco’s gentrifying historically Black neighborhood requires some street smarts but is protective of both its residents and visitors. Edgy music venues and an annual jazz festival create a loud, festive atmosphere where people come from all over to live large for a little while.

Type Nine – The Outer Sunset. On the outskirts of San Francisco, this neighborhood is slow-paced and laid-back. Ocean Beach and Golden Gate Park allow for peaceful communing with nature. A longer ride on public transportation from downtown than some suburbs, it can feel like a beautiful enclave tucked away from the rest of the city.

It can be useful to know the culture and values of the places and communities you move in day to day. Which types’ values are most represented in your country, community, and workplace?

December 16, 2014

Why We Teach the Enneagram

IMG_20141011_184042 Co-written with Kacie Berghoef

Whenever we stand in front of a class and introduce the basics of personality types or communication styles, people’s expressions shift. We catch knowing looks and whispers. Someone might identify a type Eight boss, and express relief at learning how to get along with her. Another participant might connect with the Soloist communication style, and find the value in his way of thinking acknowledged for the first time in his professional life. With the Enneagram, we’ve discovered that a little understanding goes a long way.

Enneagram workshops act as a contained study space for the complexity of human beings. Participants learn ways to understand and communicate with important people in their lives without having those people singled out. They also have the opportunity to investigate their habits, desires, and defenses in the context of a time-limited workshop. Often they get a glimpse of their reactions in action. Many such glimpses build our capacity to notice when we’re getting in our own way and allow ourselves more flexibility to make different choices next time.

We teach the Enneagram because we’ve seen the power of this flexibility. Discovering our motivations has made it easier to catch ourselves acting out bad habits and think, “Wait a minute…” Knowing our loved ones’ and colleagues’ personality types has allowed us to understand where they are coming from and strengthen our relationships. When used wisely, for growth and understanding rather than self-limitation or stereotyping, the Enneagram’s psychological acuity allows for improved – and sometimes transformed – interactions.

What could our world look like if it was full of such interactions? What would it be like if people went the extra mile to understand each other? Whenever someone acted out, the people around them would look beyond the behavior to the underlying motive, which is always a deep human need, and think about how this need might be met. Imagine how job satisfaction would increase if this became a workplace policy!

Difference would be valued and commonality recognized, in both businesses and communities. Instinct, emotion, and intellect would be valued and cultivated equally; multiple intelligences, personality patterns, and cognitive profiles would be nurtured. All manifestations of the human spirit would be welcomed to take their place.

In their personal and professional lives, people would approach conflict strategically, transparently, and seeking a win-win. Time with others would be engaged, inclusive, and joyful, and time with yourself would be respected and cherished. Everyone would be supported in caring for their well-being, striving toward new frontiers, and contributing to the larger community.

The Enneagram points to these possibilities. It illuminates dynamics that usually remain hidden, and uncovers things that are lacking and needed in any given place and time. The knowledge that there’s something more going on under every action makes us think. It calls us to be just a little more open and dig just a little bit deeper every time.