Tag: book review

January 1, 2021

Book Review: The Four Tendencies

My January blog posts attest to my fascination with New Year’s resolutions, the goals and intentions that some of us set each year in the hope of making the coming year (or ourselves) better. After the coronavirus pandemic dashed many of our plans for 2020, I wonder how many of us will make resolutions this year. Maybe some of us will focus on taking care of ourselves and each other during this difficult time, or on just being ourselves. But for those who share my perverse fascination with goal setting and change, I found a book this year that offered me some valuable perspective.

I first encountered Gretchen Rubin’s Four Tendencies framework years ago, took her quiz online, and promptly forgot about it. Then, during England’s second lockdown this year, a mention of the book prompted me to look it up again. I was struggling with some changes I wanted to make in my new, working-from-home life, but I wasn’t making them. I didn’t know how. I asked myself, not for the first time, “Why can’t I change? Why can’t I get myself to do the things I know I should do? Why do I let myself down?”

Enter Gretchen Rubin, who has written books on happiness and habit formation, and maintains a popular happiness-focused podcast. She created the Four Tendencies framework after observing differences in how people respond to expectations. One of her friends was able to run with a track team but not by herself, for example.

The Four Tendencies book posits two different types of expectations: inner expectations, or the goals and standards we have for ourselves, and outer expectations, or the things that other people and external systems expect us to do. Rubin found that people respond to these different expectations in four different, and predictable, ways.

The people she calls Upholders meet both inner and outer expectations. Questioners meet inner expectations and question outer expectations, choosing to do what others expect only when it makes sense to them. Obligers (like her friend who wanted to go running) meet outer expectations but not inner expectations, while Rebels resist both sets of expectations. There’s a lot more detail about how these four categories work in the book, as well as on Rubin’s website.

Rubin’s book offers thorough chapters about what each tendency means and how it works, along with chapters on dealing with each tendency. Like books on the Enneagram, the personality system I’ve been using for over a decade, it can be read as a self-help book, and/or used to understand how to work with other people. Medical personnel, for instance, have used her work to motivate people with different tendencies to follow their recommendations.

Helpfully, the book begins with a quiz for identifying your tendency. From there, if you’re an Upholder, you’ll discover ways to manage “tightening up” and learn how following rules can paradoxically bring freedom. If you’re a Questioner, you’ll find tips for overcoming analysis paralysis and finding reasons for doing those irrational things you need to do. If you’re an Obliger, you’ll learn about how outer accountability is key for you – and how to build it into different areas of your life to do the things that you want to do, rather than burning yourself out by doing what others want. And if you’re a Rebel, like me, you’ll learn about motivating yourself by following personal desires and identity, and how to cultivate a sense of freedom in meeting goals rather than obligation.

I love how the Four Tendencies is a practical and focused framework for change. The book offers strategies that work with our “autopilot settings,” and thus it might be called ego supportive. Yes, we can all be more mindful and present, but the book’s suggestions don’t require that. It meets us where we are and gives us how-to’s for accomplishing what we want to accomplish.

As useful as the Enneagram has been for me, it’s a descriptor, not a toolkit. It suggests that as someone whose personality follows the Type Four “Individualist” pattern, I benefit from bringing discipline and structure into my life, but it doesn’t give any nuts and bolts about how to create structure, or how to get myself to follow it. The Four Tendencies actually gave me some of those nuts and bolts.

When it comes to change management, different people have different needs. I’ve spent a lot of time hoping to find a perfect source of accountability to get me to act differently, so it’s a relief to learn that accountability isn’t an effective strategy for me – it just feels like pressure, which I then resist. I’m equally recalcitrant with myself, declaring that I’m going to do something while an internal voice intones “Yeah, yeah, I’m not gonna.” Since reading this book, I’ve focused on taking power back into my own hands. Rubin writes, “Rebels can do anything they want to do.” The key for me is to focus on wanting rather than having to. When a sense of determination drives me, I know that I’m going to get that thing done. When I hear “Oh, yeah, yeah, sure,” I either let myself off the hook or dig deeper until I find that sense of determination.

2020 brought a lot of events we had no control over, and 2021 is looking to unfold in much the same vein. If you’re looking for a book about making changes that are within your control, The Four Tendencies is a good one.

November 4, 2020

Books I Read During 2020 That I Wouldn’t Have Otherwise

In 2019, I read a lot, partly thanks to gift cards that let me buy harder-to-access books I’d been wanting to read for years. I’d thought that in 2020 I’d spend less time reading and more time doing things. Then March happened.

The gist of it is, lockdown left me with a lot of reading time, and several authors generously offered their works for free. My TBR pile has only gotten longer. It’s been fascinating to get acquainted with authors I wasn’t familiar with and to read things I wouldn’t otherwise have accessed. Here are a few unexpected book finds of 2020. I hope you find them as comforting and fun as I did.

The Murmur of Bees by Sofía Segovia (trans. Simon Bruni): As COVID-19 made its presence known in Italy, I began a novel that turned out to chronicle the Spanish flu. A Mexican family takes in a disabled child who has a close relationship with a swarm of bees, and a compelling magical realist tale unfolds from there. The parallels between the pandemic I was reading about and the one whose impact I began to experience simultaneously were both unnerving and comforting.

Mr. Hotshot CEO by Jackie Lau: I’d heard good things about Jackie Lau’s Chinese-Canadian rom coms set in Toronto, and jumped at the chance to read one offered for free at the time. A young, workaholic CEO’s nosy family enforces a vacation, and he hires a woman he sees at a coffee shop to teach him how to enjoy himself. This is foodie fluff at its most enjoyable. I swear, you will want to eat (or bake) every meal and treat in the book. It also has excellent “own voices” depression representation.

The Perilous Life of Jade Yeo by Zen Cho: Zen Cho is an elegant writer, and her historical novella is still free, so read it if you can! In the 1920s, a Malaysian writer in London writes a scathing book review – and attracts the author’s attention. This slim read is packed with curiosity, romance, scandal, and a delightful epistolary voice.

Noodle Trails by Eileen Kay: A travel memoir about Thailand by a Scottish writer. Following a divorce, Eileen Kay retreats to Thailand, home of the suppliers of her now-faltering fair trade import business. This true story of a woman getting back on her feet in rough times is witty, joyful, and a lot of fun.

Three’s a Crowd and Other Family Stories by Kate Blackadder: Sweet and entertaining, these are traditional family stories with a twist. In this Scottish writer’s short fiction collection, you’ll meet funky grandparents, refurbished bikes, and Ceilidh bands. This was great for those days when I had a short attention span, as I could read one story at a time.

Winnie and Wilbur Stay at Home by Valerie Thomas and Korky Paul: A timely (at the time) free picture book, and part of a popular series about a witch and her cat. At first, neither are thrilled about having to self-isolate, but with a little magical help, they find things to do. At the end, there are links to resources, including yoga and recipes.

Shady Hollow by Juneau Black: Given the popularity of Animal Crossing, maybe you, like me, would be interested in reading a murder mystery set in a charming town of talking animals? Intrepid reporter Vera Vixen takes it upon herself to track down the murderer of the resident swamp toad. This cozy mystery is well executed and extremely fun.

What have you been reading for fun in 2020? Have your tastes changed? Have you read anything unexpected?

June 2, 2020

Some Recent Fantastic Reads by Black Authors

Black lives matter. This should be something obvious, not something that needs to be said. But recent news shows just how deeply racial tensions run, how embedded they are in our institutions, and how much harm they cause.

In the interest of supporting Black creators, I’ve put together a list of books by Black authors that I read and enjoyed recently. This is by no means a ranking, definitive guide, or anything like that. Instead, it’s an idiosyncratic list of well-crafted, fun, and moving (mostly genre) books which often share perspectives and insights that may be new to white readers. Hopefully you’ll find something in there that you’ll enjoy reading from cover to cover!

YA and Middle Grade

Akata Witch / Akata Warrior by Nnedi Okorafor: This series has been called “the Nigerian Harry Potter”, and it delivers on magic and worldbuilding. 12-year-old Sunny, who’s albino and was born in the US, is treated as an outsider once her family returns to Nigeria. Then new friendships reveal her hidden magic and a whole new society of Leopard people. Expect adventure and an astonishing world, grounded in Nigerian myths and realities, that you will wish you could visit.

The Belles by Dhonielle Clayton: In a world where citizens are born grey, a select group of women has the power to magically alter people’s appearances, allowing them to conform to the latest fashions and be “beautiful”. Camilla is one of these young women, and she discovers that her world’s beauty culture has sinister roots. Expect beautiful prose and a thought-provoking contemplation of beauty standards.

The Poet X by Elizabeth Acevedo: Afro-Latina teen Xiaomara finds her voice as a slam poet in this moving novel told in verse. There are a lot of truths here about fraught family dynamics, first love, and more, and they are expressed with raw beauty. Get the tissues ready!

Fantasy and Science Fiction

A Taste of Honey by Kai Ashante Wilson: A gay fantasy romance that uses dialect in deft and unique ways. When Aqib’s country is visited by foreign soldiers, he meets Lucrio and encounters the ideas of a nation where same-sex relationships are accepted. A choice unfolds: does he stay with his familiar settings and beloved zookeeping responsibility, or does he leave with Lucrio into the unknown? This novella beautifully explores two parallel lives.

The Murders of Molly Southbourne by Tade Thompson: A gripping science fiction horror novella. Every time Molly bleeds, a copy of herself emerges, intent on killing her. She is taught to murder them in turn. It’s a strange, eerie book about threat and escape that I couldn’t put down.

Binti by Nnedi Okorafor: Mathematically gifted Binti is the first Himba person to be accepted to a university off-planet, but her space travel is disrupted by the alien Meduse, who the university has wronged. This is a highly inventive novella about building bridges between warring groups of people (including extraterrestrial people in this case).

Romance

A Princess in Theory / A Prince on Paper by Alyssa Cole: The Reluctant Royals series is beloved for good reason: it takes a critical eye to the tropes of royal romance while revelling in their best parts. In A Princess in Theory, an epidemiologist gets spam emails from an African prince she is betrothed to, only to discover that they’re real. A Prince on Paper is my favorite in the series, featuring a sensitive playboy hero and a heroine who is deeply kind. There are further books in the series, too, on my TBR list.

Let It Shine by Alyssa Cole: Two childhood friends, a Black “good girl” and a Jewish boxer, reunite and fight for civil rights in this sweet, impactful novella. The Civil Rights movement in the 1960s takes center stage as the main character finds her voice.

Fit by Rebekah Weatherspoon: Another short romance, for those who like their reads on the spicy side. A TV producer seeks out a personal trainer, who proposes an unconventional arrangement for getting her fit.

Nonfiction

Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body by Roxane Gay: This memoir does not present a triumphant narrative arc but rather a messy, complicated reckoning. Gay writes with honesty and sensitivity about the trauma of early sexual assault, her compulsion to eat in order to be safe, what it’s like to move through the world in a very large, “unruly” body, and learning to take care of her physical self. I found it moving while giving me a lot to consider and grapple with.

To this list, I add my recommendations of Children of Blood and Bone (YA fantasy) and An Unkindness of Ghosts (science fiction) from a previous blog post.

What are some books by Black authors that you enjoyed? Let’s keep the recommendations coming!

March 3, 2020

Following The Artist’s Way Again, Over 10 Years Later

Five pelicans groom themselves in St. James’ Park, London, during one of my Artist Dates.

During the first year of my undergraduate studies, I encountered a book called The Artist’s Way. A classmate who’d completed a visual arts program told me about the volume and how his class had used it at art school. Julia Cameron’s book has sold over 3 million copies and inspired countless artists, but this was my first encounter with it. I was intrigued by my friend’s stories of how the book inspired an outpouring of productivity and gave him the courage to use masses of high-quality paint rather than being stingy. I wanted to check this book out myself.

I found a copy of The Artist’s Way in a used bookstore. One of my classes at the time involved a project in which we all found something we’d always wanted to do and did it. I’d always wanted to paint, and I used this book as inspiration. I started writing Morning Pages, following Cameron’s practice of writing three pages longhand every morning in which you vent, brainstorm, and babble. I went on Artist Dates, inspiring solo outings, though I no longer remember where I went.

I did Cameron’s exercises, listing activities I’d always wanted to do and “secret selves” who reflected aspects of my personality that I didn’t typically express. To be candid, I only made my way partway through the book, but by the end of the year, I had in fact learned to paint. I hung some of my pieces in my dorm room, and painting entered the repertoire of arts I practiced and believed myself capable of doing. I also tried out other art forms, writing a good song and a not-as-good-but-still-finished musical. The Artist’s Way, even imperfectly followed, was a wellspring of inspiration. Once the year ended, inspired and enlivened, I moved on.

Near the end of 2019, over a decade later, an intriguing call for submissions got me writing a fantasy short story on the commute to and from my editing job. I got started but alternated between chipping away at the story and sitting there with a muddled, unproductive brain. I wanted to keep up my momentum, to keep writing, so I found myself picking up a tool I hadn’t used in years: the Morning Pages.

On mornings when my brain wasn’t up to the task, I used my time on the London tube to ramble in my notebook about what was happening in my life. From there, spurred on by seeing a friend posting about The Artist’s Way on social media, I began to follow the book in earnest. My story coaxed me into taking a second walk down the Artist’s Way.

A lot has changed since my first half-finished use of Cameron’s tools. I’ve moved from the creatively nurturing nest that my university provided for me to the daily routine of a full-time job, moving in a circuitous path that’s included freelancing, multiple careers, and entrepreneurship. I’ve lived in three different countries. I’ve published a successful book and dozens of short pieces. Having come from a place of early success, I’ve also become very familiar with failure. I’ve been prolific at times, blocked at times, and overly reticent with submissions. The drive of creative inspiration has at many points given way to the need to get things done.

This need has given me a new perspective on The Artist’s Way. I’m discovering that it is, in fact, an ingenious organizational tool. The Morning Pages remind me of forgotten items to check off my to-do list and help me organize my creative projects. Sometimes bits of writing emerge from the pages, but more often than not they resemble vacuuming – getting the mind clean and ready for work. The Artist Dates have taken me on walks around the neighborhood where I work, enjoying the splendors of Buckingham Palace and St. James’ Park, becoming familiar with the birds and flowers there. For some, Artist Dates bring a welcome sense of adventure. For me, they’ve brought a deeper connection and grounding in my surroundings.

The first time I tried The Artist’s Way, I was much closer to being that “artist child” that Cameron wants her readers to reconnect with inside themselves. I was less familiar with the challenges of the marketplace and had largely received encouragement in my writing and creative pursuits. I’d experienced the sting of some failures, but not on the scale that adulthood would bring. With this context, the encouragement offered by The Artist’s Way has been much more powerful the second time around.

Engaging with the book’s exercises has not been easy. They’ve opened old wounds and questions about my future. However, the changes have been profound. I’d expected to discover an exotic array of new interests or begin engaging with new art forms the way I did last time. Instead, my inner voice piped up loud and clear that I want to write and need to fight for that desire.

I was reminded of being eight years old and imagining that I would someday write all the things I read – mystery novels, advertisements, nature magazines, newspapers, everything! I remembered submissions that got lost and wondered why I hadn’t followed up. I became determined to follow that voice urging me to write all kinds of things, write what’s fun, and not put limits on myself. It’s okay that I want to be focused right now, that I don’t want to crochet or make a podcast. It’s okay that I’m scared to fail over and over. I’m determined to listen to my inner voice and honor that eight-year-old’s dreams.

So, what’s changed in my life since beginning my second journey with The Artist’s Way? I’ve written a short story and several poems, begun a novella in a new genre, finished revising a manuscript and submitting it to my first round of agents, and embarked upon a “100 submissions a year” challenge. (I’m going for submissions rather than rejections because it’s a concrete goal within my control. One of these has already turned into an acceptance, and I’m certainly not sulking about it!)

I’ve taken the initiative to create a blog for authors at my job. I’ve come up with several ideas for potential writing projects. I’ve started learning about linguistics and spent a morning picking up a few phrases in Swahili. I’ve gotten back in touch with some old friends, reached out to my great-aunt about family recipes, and grown very familiar with the pelicans of St. James’ Park. Fear, realism, and cynicism tango with hope and the excitement of infinite possibilities. Here I stand, in the middle of the Artist’s Way, and this time I’m determined to make it to the end.

Have you tried The Artist’s Way? What was your experience like?

August 1, 2019

SFF Book Recommendations and Aristotle’s Building Blocks of Writing

Writing is a holistic activity, but when it comes to honing our craft, it’s useful to break it down into parts. The June 30 episode of Writing Excuses, a podcast about the craft of writing that focuses primarily on fantasy and science fiction (SFF), introduced Aristotle’s elements of tragedy. These six aspects of writing apply to modern storytelling as easily as they did to ancient Greek plays. While Aristotle placed these elements in a specific order of importance, the authors on Writing Excuses argue that their relative importance changes based on what an author is trying to achieve. In my opinion, there’s no better way to make use of this theory than by looking at how it applies to books that do each element well. Below, I share how each element is used in an SFF book I recently read and loved. Take these examples as a starting point rather than a be-all and end-all. And, if you’re writing a work in progress, think about how Aristotle’s elements apply to it and which ones you want to emphasize.

Plot: Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi

Aristotle ranked plot as the most important element of tragedy, and a tightly plotted yarn certainly keeps us reading. In Children of Blood and Bone, the divîner caste in the West African-inspired land of Orïsha have been brutally oppressed since the king eliminated their magic. Young Zélie finds a scroll that temporarily reignites these powers and gets caught up in a plan to bring magic back for good. This novel is tightly plotted and action packed. Each chapter ratchets up the tension, with gladiator battles, kidnapping, and an epic hero’s journey.

Character: Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik

Three women take turns narrating this loose retelling of Rumpelstiltskin, and protagonist Miryem has the standout character arc. The daughter of a Jewish moneylender who is too softhearted (and frightened of persecution) to ask for his money back, Miryem resolves to turn around her struggling family’s fortunes and takes over her father’s job. She teaches herself to be relentless and drive a hard bargain. Her skills attract the attention of the mystical Staryk king, who wants to make use of her ability to “turn silver to gold.” Miryem’s evolution from daughter of a struggling family to skilled and hardened moneylender to strong-willed leader is a delight to witness.

Idea: The Black Tides of Heaven / The Red Threads of Fortune by J. Y. Yang

The Tensorate universe is founded on ideas. It has a carefully crafted magic system that involves entering the “slack” and “tensing” different elements to achieve effects. It’s a world where children choose their own gender in their own time and are considered genderless until then. Yang’s two novellas follow the twin children of this world’s dictatorial leader as they choose divergent paths, Akeha (Black Tides) becoming male and leading a rebel faction, Mokoya (Red Threads) becoming female and hunting monsters in the wake of personal tragedy. This intricacies of the magic and gender systems are fascinating and thoroughly explored. What happens when someone falls through the gaps, or thinks they know the rules but might be missing something? Yang has thought of that, too.

Dialogue: The Tea Master and the Detective by Aliette de Bodard

One of the joys of an odd-couple cop story is the interplay between the pair. This novella’s two space sleuths are Long Chau, a consulting detective with a drug addiction and a hidden past, and The Shadow’s Child, a sentient spaceship traumatized from past military service who now makes a living (barely) by brewing and selling tea blends that keep customers’ minds clear in deep space. Long Chau approaches The Shadow’s Child for two things: tea and transport into the deep spaces that still trigger her trauma in order to find a corpse to study. The mysterious circumstances of said corpse’s death lead the pair to investigate. De Bodard’s dialogue is understated, with formal tones conveying the characters’ wariness around each other. Gaps in conversation show where they leave things unsaid and where Long Chau misses social nuances. At times, the characters are edgy and snarky:

“I’m writing a treatise on decomposition. How the human body changes in deep space is a shamefully undervalued area of study.”

“I can see why you’d be a success at local poetry clubs,” The Shadow’s Child said, wryly.

There’s a lot to appreciate in this story, and the dialogue is one element that works to show evolution in the characters’ fragile trust.

Music: An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon

Astrid has spent her whole life on the Matilda, a spaceship that has carried humanity’s survivors for generations towards a promised land. It’s a brutal milieu, divided by nation-like decks, where the lower deckers (intersex people of color) are subjugated and forced to work on the revolving plantation deck. Astrid discovers that the journals of her late mother, an engineer, hold a secret code and that the Matilda’s bouts of power loss and illness may be more significant than anyone realized. Astrid is a nuanced and brilliant protagonist on the autism spectrum whose formal diction sets her apart from fellow lower-deckers, and the inhabitants of each deck in turn are distinguished by their language. Solomon imbues each shipboard culture with its own turns of phrase, use of pronouns, expressions, and cadences. The music that gives shape to this novel’s worldbuilding is exquisite.

Spectacle: Heroine Complex by Sarah Kuhn

Spectacle means putting on a good show. Kuhn’s fantastically fun urban fantasy, the first in a trilogy (with a follow-up novella and more to come soon), is full of flash and dazzle. Evie is the put-upon personal assistant to superheroine Aveda, her longtime best friend. But when Aveda is injured in a demon fight, Evie is called on to impersonate her, and the fire power she’s worked so hard to hide may be the very thing that saves the day. In SFF, spectacle can happen through worldbuilding and description as well as through action scenes. The heroes in Heroine Complex fight fanged cupcakes, and one of the pivotal battles takes place during a karaoke contest. Bring on the popcorn!

July 2, 2019

Book Review: Romancing the Page

I just finished a novella collection that combines keen publishing industry insights with charming f/f romance. Presenting Romancing the Page!

Written by fantasy author Laura Lam (Pantomime, False Hearts) writing and self-publishing under the open pen name Laura Ambrose, the three novellas in this series spin love stories between writers and publishing employees in the world of science fiction and fantasy. One reviewer likened them to “f/f candy,” and the comparison is apt. I found the romances compellingly paced, and raced my way through the characters’ conflicts and nuanced inner worlds to the payoff of each happy ending. I also enjoyed the novellas’ settings in London and Edinburgh, the UK cities I’ve been living in these past couple years.

In the first novella, A Hidden Hope, two American writers – former critique partners and lovers – meet at London a conference three years after their falling out. Neither had been published when they knew each other. Now Natalie has a precarious midlist career penning the fantasy novels she loves, and El, formerly convinced of the superiority of her “literary fiction,” has a big-budget fantasy debut coming out under a male pseudonym. Due to their previous involvement, there’s a lot of chemistry between the duo from the get-go, and hurt simmers beneath their resentment. The characters’ differing reactions to each other convey their temperaments: Natalie lashes out while El tries to make up. Once the two inevitably get together, expect quirky dates and plenty of heat. The conference setting allows for sharp industry insights as well. The uncertain fate awaiting authors of big debuts, Natalie’s need to support herself through a grueling secondary freelance career, the panel on sex with its skewering of sexism, the question of to what extent El using a male pen name has impacted her success… it’s all keenly observed, an insider’s point of view. The ending is an optimistic take – a realistic best-case-scenario if you will – not just for the central relationship but for the two writers’ careers, with neither skyrocketing but both finding their perfect balance.

The second novella, A Perfect Balance (see what I did there?), focuses on a likeable side character from the first: Emma, a friend of Natalie and El who has written urban fantasy about a rock band of zombie women and now work as an SFF editor. I really want to read Emma’s books! In fact, the novellas, and this one in particular, are packed with imaginary books that sound like fantastic additions to bookshelves, and I wish that Laura would write them. But on to the book at hand. Emma has been hooking up with a woman she met through an app, with neither using their real name or looking to pursue a relationship. Their dynamic is low-key kinky: Emma likes being told what to do, and the other woman likes giving orders. That is, until Emma comes back from a vacation to find that her company’s new marketing employee, Sage, is none other than her anonymous lover! Now Emma is the one giving orders as they work together on the marketing campaign for the biggest debut of the year. Both of them have reasons, rooted in their pasts, to fear committing to a relationship, but as they get to know each other, down to exchanging favorite childhood books, it gets increasingly challenging to avoid one. In her point of view chapters, Sage’s difficult relationship with her wealthy and demanding father is a big focus. She’s trying to break away and find herself, and by the end of the story, she does. Emma’s reasons for avoiding commitment seemed thinner to me – not necessarily invalid, but underdeveloped in comparison. Both characters’ passion for their work and competence at doing it were joys to read. In all the novellas, the satisfaction of doing good work is a deep part of the happy endings, and that’s something I appreciate. I also like how the author mixes things up with each character dynamic. While the other two pairings in Romancing the Page read as butch/femme-ish, Emma and Sage read as a femme/femme couple and Emma is bi or pan. The focus on power dynamics is lovingly rendered.

Speaking of power dynamics, An Unheard Song is rife with them (though not in a kinky context). Annalie, the author of the hit fantasy debut from the last novella, has been agoraphobic since her second book tanked. Her anxiety is compounded because this is her second career failure – she was previously a musician. She’s working on a third book, but isn’t able to go to the library to do the necessary research, so she hires an under-the-table assistant. Cam was a music scholar who lost out on dissertation funding because a woman on the committee propositioned her and then turned down her application after she said no. As Cam and Annalie work together and their attraction grows, they discover that the same woman is Annalie’s ex, responsible for halting her music career, and they decide to get revenge. In a romance context, the employee – employer dynamic feels borderline uncomfortable at times, though the characters tread sensitively around this dynamic. As people, though, Annalie and Cam are a powerfully complementary pair. This is the novella where the conflict felt most real, as the characters are dealing with much deeper issues than poor communication. Cam is afraid of telling her mother about her sexuality, of speaking out against harassers, and of fully expressing herself. Annalie is working on her anxiety through therapy and, at the onset of the story, is too afraid to leave her Edinburgh flat. The characters push each other to grow, speak up, find courage, and reclaim their power. While each takes the necessary action for her own growth, neither does so alone.

If you’re looking for some light, insightful summer reading, give Romancing the Page a read! I’ve linked to each novella separately in their reviews, too, in case one particularly appeals to you.

What are you reading this summer?

June 3, 2019

Lessons on Writing Relationships… from Romance Novels

Feedback on the first draft of a fiction manuscript I’ve been working on for a while, while positive in other aspects, suggested that the characters’ relationships lacked a certain spark. So, while working on the second draft, I turned to a genre that models relationship writing: romance.

Romance writing is a realm where constraint fuels creativity. A relationship focus and a happy ending are key to meeting the genre’s expectations. Readers know that the main characters are going to get together in the end; the fun (and literary skill) is in finding out how they get there. As well as being enjoyable to read, romance offers wonderful insights into building characters and crafting the dynamics between them. There’s nothing like a romance novel – focused on chemistry, rapport, and relationship development above all else – to illustrate how to write effective relationships in fiction!

Here are a few of the romance titles I’ve enjoyed recently, and the insights I’ve gleaned from them.

The Bride Test, by Helen Hoang: For Hoang, writing romance intersected with discovering that she was on the autism spectrum and creating characters who share neuro-similarities. In this delightful novel, the mother of Khai, an accountant on the spectrum who wants nothing to do with relationships, returns to Vietnam to find him an ideal bride. Esme, a whip-smart janitor with a young daughter (inspired in part by Hoang’s immigrant mom), is eager to seek new opportunities in America. But to secure a better life for herself and her family, she must, in one summer, win the heart of a man who believes himself unable to love. The relationship between Khai and Esme evolves with sensitivity to their very different needs and experiences. While there’s mutual attraction, it comes with a lot of misunderstandings, often related to culture or neurology, that the characters must overcome. Hoang excels at creating interpersonal conflict with solid reasons behind it, both internal and interpersonal. Read this novel for a great example of how two very different characters, with realistically divergent experiences, can convincingly come together.

The Summer of Jordi Perez (and the Best Burger in Los Angeles), by Amy Spalding: In this queer YA romance, Abby begins a summer internship at her favourite clothing store only to discover that a co-intern, Jordi, is also vying for the single job available once the summer ends. But the two girls hit it off so well that sparks fly between them, and private, plus-sized Abby, who’d cast herself in the archetypal romantic-comedy “friend” role, must come to grips with photographer Jordi’s view of her as a leading lady. Abby’s thoughtful perspective definitely leads here, with Jordi being more of a secondary character. I found her a great example of crafting a non-point-of-view romantic interest who is appealing and fleshed out – scenes with her photography and family are charming, though not central. Another great secondary character is the funny jock Jax, best friend of Abby’s best friend’s boyfriend. A secondary storyline follows the “friend chemistry” that evolves between him and Abby as the unlikely pair sample L.A.’s burgers for a rating app.

Outback Billionaire, by Nikki Steele: The cover cracked me up, but the writing kept me reading until I finished it in one sitting. This was a fun read with a tight perspective on the two romantic leads, alternating POVs between Marlo, an American aspiring actress brought to Australia by her good-for-nothing manager fiance (they break up quickly thereafter), and Jack, a wealthy cattle station owner who offers her a job on his land. In a genre often focused on the heroine, I would have liked to know Marlo better, but found Jack’s concerns (health problems, hot buttons, vulnerabilities) to be particularly well explored. His interests are appealing and understated. The fantasy of wealth is conveyed through the understated sensuality of French press coffee, good wine, and a love of open spaces. The Australian Outback is described with precision and gorgeous language – you get a romance and armchair travel in one!

Hate to Want You and Wrong to Need You, by Alisha Rai: In this family-drama romance series, two families that once co-owned a grocery chain have a bitter falling out after a parent in each family dies in a car crash. Hate to Want You is the story of Nick and Livvy, children of the respective families, a couple forced to break up after the families split. Since then, they’ve hooked up once a year, and when Livvy comes back to town, both of their suppressed feelings for each other threaten to reignite old wounds. Wrong to Need You develops a romance between Sadia, single mom and widow of Livvy’s brother, and the surviving brother, Jackson, a once-close friend who cut Sadia off after being accused of burning the flagship grocery store. I have yet to read the third book, Hurts to Love You, which ties up loose ends in this angsty saga of family secrets. Rai’s series excels at developing multiple character relationships at once. Family, friendships, and romantic ties are all complicated and all matter deeply to both plot and characters. Every heated moment has emotional heft. Mental health issues are integral to the plot, and the characters are diverse and deep. If you’re interested in writing romantic relationships, an ensemble cast, or both, the Forbidden Hearts series is well worth your time.

If you’re looking to bring more romance in your reading life (either for fun, for writerly insights, or both), Smart Bitches, Trashy Books is an awesome resource for discussions and recommendations of what’s good, what’s not so good, and what’s out there. And of course, there are lots of romance deals available on Amazon to get you started!

I’m delighted to see this genre getting growing critical respect (the New York Times Book Review now has a romance critic!) and publishing a wider variety of voices. In an often harsh world, there’s something both comforting and radical in reading about all kinds of people finding happiness.

May 1, 2017

Our Favorite Enneagram Resources

Co-written with Kacie Berghoef

In our years of Enneagram teaching and learning, we’ve had the benefit of many wonderful resources. With the Enneagram growing in popularity, there are books, videos, courses, apps, and a plethora of other options for learning about its many applications. Writing our book The Modern Enneagram gave us an opportunity to contribute to this conversation. We wanted to create an entry point for newcomers to this complex system. For readers who want to continue their learning, we included a list of resources for going deeper, focusing on different applications of the Enneagram such as careers or relationships. This month, we’d like to spotlight a few of our favorite resources that we recommend in The Modern Enneagram.

For Beginners: The Enneagram Made Easy: Discover the 9 Types of People by Elizabeth Wagele and Renee Baron

If you’re new to the Enneagram and looking for an engaging starting point, or if you’re seeking a fun way to introduce the system to friends, family, or clients, this book is a perfect pick. It introduces the nine types in simple, accessible language. Liz’s cartoons, sprinkled liberally throughout the text, give funny and relatable examples of how the types behave and see things. They flesh out the Enneagram theory in ways beyond what words can convey alone, and make for great conversation points. The book’s breezy nature makes it easy to pick up and put down for busy readers.

Business and Career: Awareness to Action: The Enneagram, Emotional Intelligence, and Change by Robert Tallon and Mario Sikora

This is an excellent practical guide for using the Enneagram in the workplace. It presents the nine types as strategies that can be used skillfully or unskillfully, and introduces a simple framework for building on your strengths and growing your performance. Many mainstream Enneagram resources have a spiritual slant or use language that doesn’t work in corporate environments. This book speaks to the workplace in ways that are both thorough and usable, without skimping on the depth and growth that working with the Enneagram can provide.

Personal Growth: Personality Types by Don Riso and Russ Hudson

An Enneagram classic, Riso and Hudson’s book delves deeply into the types’ dynamics and journeys of growth. It remains the most comprehensive resource for understanding the Levels of Development: the progression of personality through mental health, from our darkest struggles to our highest potential. Check out this book if you’re looking for in-depth insight and a thorough psychological take on the Enneagram types, as well as an inspiring view of what your best self can look like.

Relationships: Sex, Love, and Your Personality: The 9 Faces of Intimacy by Mona Coates and Judith Searle

This relationship book by a seasoned sex therapist goes beyond type and explores the three instincts, or subtypes, within each Enneagram number. Coates’ 35 years of working in the field allow her to offer rich and varied case studies for each type-instinct combo, illuminating real-life relationship challenges and ways of working with your type toward relationship success. This book also includes a scale for assessing relationship compatibility. Personal and thorough, it’s both an intriguing read and an excellent tool for understanding yourself and your partner.

Spiritual Growth: The Spiritual Dimension of the Enneagram: Nine Faces of the Soul by Sandra Maitri

This book is geared toward the advanced Enneagram student and spiritual seeker. Maitri expands on basic familiarity with the system by presenting some of the Enneagram’s spiritual context. She views the types as stemming from loss of contact with our essential nature, resulting in the development of a particular ego structure. The book goes into detail in explaining how these structures operate and how we can get more deeply in touch again with our essential selves. It also presents a unique take on each type’s repressed inner child.

One wonderful thing about the Enneagram today is the wealth of resources available. Our recommendations above are just the tip of the iceberg. See our book, The Modern Enneagram, for a more thorough list of recommended resources, or feel free to recommend your own in the comments!

November 17, 2015

Book Review: The Awakened Company

Co-written with Kacie Berghoef

Our colleague Catherine Bell (no relation to Melanie Bell) recently released a book that we’re excited about. Written in collaboration with Enneagram expert Russ Hudson and Christopher Papadopoulos, The Awakened Company is a passionate and pragmatic call for a new way of doing business. While traditional business models focus primarily on profit and efficiency, Bell calls for a big-picture approach that also takes sustainability, community, and mindfulness into account.

The Awakened Company comes at a time, post-financial crash, when “the historic notions of doing business are rapidly unraveling on nearly all levels” (p. 4). Bell describes the problems of meaningless work, a growth-based (and thus ultimately unsustainable) financial model, and the “business is business” philosophy, which “assumes that the purpose of business is to make money, and whatever it takes to do so is okay” (p. 1). She recalls the history of early businesses, rooted in family, community, and service, and calls for a way of doing business that returns to these roots and innovates beyond them. The result is the “awakened” company of the book’s title, which is attentive to global context.

Bell argues that the smallest business decisions have consequences, and that companies benefit from making sure that these decisions – from the sourcing of products to the creation of company culture – are made ethically and with deliberation. “Business is far from just ‘business’,” she concludes; “It’s deeply interwoven with the whole of life” (p. 57). In order to thrive in the modern world, corporations need to adopt a deep-rooted sense of civic responsibility and connectedness.

Much of the book discusses the importance of building greater awareness in the business sphere. Bell introduces the qualities of “presence,” a state of being grounded, attentive, and open, and their positive effects on the workplace. Cultivating presence in leaders and teams fosters adaptability, harmony, and work relationships that feel meaningful. The book argues that the functioning of any company is improved when a leader or small team cultivates a climate of mindful awareness that spreads throughout the organization. Bell also makes a convincing case for the importance of growing aspects of company culture that are often overlooked, such as reflection and aesthetics (and the Enneagram is in there, subtly).

The Awakened Company takes a macro approach, and covers a lot of ground. The book is peppered with brief case examples, allowing readers to better understand how the book’s organizational principles are implemented on the ground. Hopefully a future publication will cover such examples in more detail. The book often uses spiritual language, but The Awakened Company’s suggestions are well researched and eminently practical. This book is ideal for leaders seeking a thorough and well-thought-out guide to principles of sustainable company-building. Happily, the approaches laid out by The Awakened Company are increasingly common in today’s business landscape. With Bell’s book reaching a broader audience, their reach may continue to grow.

November 1, 2014

Bringing the Enneagram to Teens

Co-written with Kacie Berghoef

Having learned the Enneagram at a young age, bringing the Enneagram to more young people remains a topic close to our hearts. For teenagers, the Enneagram opens a door to improving relationships with parents and friends, and feeling seen for who you are–a person with thoughts, feelings, and needs independent from those around you. It gives a language to describe your viewpoint to the people who matter to you, and helps in making decisions about the direction you want your life to take.

When we were teenagers discovering the Enneagram, wonderful books existed about this system–Melanie has fond memories of holing up in the college library, browsing the “Enneagram corner”–but none of them focused on people our age. The vast majority of our peers were not familiar with the Enneagram, leaving us largely to teach it to them.

Elizabeth Wagele’s latest book, The Enneagram for Teens, has the potential to change this. Wagele previously wrote an Enneagram book aimed at children, but as far as we know, this is the first book exclusively oriented to a teenaged audience. In this fun and clearly-written read, Wagele writes in an engaging manner that teens are sure to enjoy. Wagele’s cartoons, both illustrative of the types and entertaining, grace most of the pages of her book. Wagele dedicates a chapter to each of the nine types, and a final chapter depicts each type’s leadership style. Wagele describes each type in a way that is easy to grasp, with examples most relatable to high school and college-aged readers.

Wagele excels at creating material that connects with the target audience. Each type chapter offers a quiz made of statements that come directly from teenagers–a refreshingly clear and direct approach. (You might be a Six if you “want to be safe and to be told the truth.”) Wagele also offers practical goals for self-development tailored to teens of each type.

The heart and soul of Wagele’s book comes from the primary source material. In each chapter, she interviews several people from each Enneagram type, both teens and young adults looking back on their experience. The subjects Wagele interviews provide a diverse cross-section of perspectives. Some, such as a type One rebel, do a welcome job of defying personality stereotypes, while others give a well-rounded sense of each Enneagram type’s strengths and challenges. Especially affecting is one Three exemplar’s memory of telling the principal her team had lost a tournament as she received her diploma–“That’s all I ever think about when I think about high school graduation.” It should be easy for readers to hear their own experiences mirrored in the young voices in the book.

We believe The Enneagram for Teens is a wonderful resource for teenagers and college students first learning about the Enneagram, as well as parents hoping to get into the shoes of their teens. Our own experiences of encountering the Enneagram young were pivotal: for example, Kacie finally understood her parents’ perspectives and why they were different from her own, and Melanie learned strategies to manage her emotions. Wagele’s book has great potential to more widely engage young people in learning the Enneagram. We hope this book will help young Enneagram enthusiasts connect with each other!