Melanie Bell

What to Do When Your Brain Just Won’t Write

According to coach and author Alexis Rockley, the lack of focus and creative blocks that many of us are experiencing during the coronavirus pandemic stem from the uncertainty arising from this situation. We don’t know what’s going to happen next, and our brains are overwhelmed. In this and other stressful situations, it can be hard for those of us who want to write to get any writing done.

Every writer has struggled with this at points – writer’s block, stress, and other manifestations of a mind that isn’t in any shape to create. It’s one thing if writing is our day job, and we have the external motivation of a deadline with a paycheck waiting at the end (and even then, getting the words out can sometimes be a challenge). It’s quite another when the only person counting on us to get something written is ourselves.

When your brain just won’t write, what can you do? Sometimes it’s best to recognize and care for our needs and come back to work another time rather than tiring ourselves out in the here and now. There are lots of things that can help recharge your batteries, get inspiration flowing, and move your writing career forward when your brain is stalling and the words just won’t come. Here are a few of them.

Self-Care

Rest: If you’re overwhelmed or tired, maybe you need more sleep or downtime. Listen to your body and offer yourself the rest you need.

Exercise: Like rest, we need movement in order to function. Again, listening to your body is helpful here. If you’re feeling twitchy in that office chair, maybe you need to get up and go for a jog.

Check your physical comfort: Are you hungry? Thirsty? Cold or hot? Is your furniture hurting your back? Sometimes a comfortable environment makes all the difference.

Do your to-do’s: Some writers procrastinate by doing busywork, but the opposite can also happen. If you have pressing items on your to-do list that you’re putting off, they may be hogging brain real estate that could otherwise be devoted to creativity. Look at those worrisome tasks you’re putting off and get them done. 

Idea Generation

Read (or engage with other arts): Reading keeps writers engaged with words and stories, and can be a wellspring of ideas. So can taking in other forms of art, whether that’s looking at paintings or binging Netflix shows. Feel free to re-engage with old favorites too. 

Research: Like your to-do list, this is some writers’ favored procrastination tool, but it’s also productive. Read and learn about topics that interest you or that are related to your writing project, or try something new and out of your comfort zone. You never know what will spark an idea.

World build: Act like a kid and make things up! Draw an imaginary map. Invent a lollipop land. Dream up a new animal. If you already have a created world as part of your writing, play around with adding things onto it.

Learn your craft: Take a writing class, attend an event, or listen to a podcast. Try something that will teach you new elements or angles on writing and expand your horizons. 

The Business of Writing

Pitch or submit: When the words aren’t coming, that can be a good time to submit and query the pieces you’ve already finished. You can try pitching ideas for new pieces as well, or pitching rejected ideas to other publications. 

Edit: Try rereading your drafts with an editorial eye. See what would benefit from being rewritten. Reading your work aloud can be helpful here, as can exchanging critiques with writer friends.

Build your social media or web presence: It helps to have a presence and network online. Reach out, make connections, and put yourself (and your work) out there. Find people who will want to read your work once you get back to writing it.

Build relationships: As with the above, it’s useful to connect with others in the writing world. Try attending events (virtual ones count, of course), joining a writers’ group, or going to a conference. Keep in touch with the people you meet and like. 

If you just can’t write right now, truly, it’s OK. A writer is someone who writes – but you don’t have to write all the time in order to qualify for the title. There are lots of things you can do that will contribute to your writing when the words won’t come. I promise that blank page will still be there, ready for you to get started.

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Taking Care of Ourselves and Each Other

Epping Forest is one of the areas I explored for once-a-day exercise during lockdown.

The coronavirus pandemic has affected all of us, though not equally. Those communities that are most marginalized have been hardest hit. Different parts of the world are facing different trajectories of recovery and reinfection. Here in the UK, some restrictions remain (there’s no skating at the skating rink) while others have been lifted (some travel is permitted, and shops are filled with masked shoppers).

I have been fortunate in keeping my day job and place to live. My days look different, though, and I doubt they’ll ever revert to what they were. My office is closed for the rest of 2020, if not beyond. My company just did an ergonomic assessment of my home workspace and boxes of equipment arrived for me today in the mail, granting a sense of permanence to the whole thing. I’ve learned new ways of working, exercising, cleaning, and being with people in the world. If the pandemic recedes, a vaccine is found, or the infection gets otherwise under control, there are parts of daily life that I’d be very happy to have back. There are aspects of this new way of being, though, that I’d like to keep.

I appreciate how COVID-19 has brought out altruism in many communities and people. Groups have banded together to make masks, shop for the vulnerable, offer entertainment, and support each other in many ways. I hope this civic-mindedness and mutual care continues in some form. It is always needed.

I appreciate the renewed awareness that we affect each other. How often have I thought that my actions didn’t make a difference? The presence of an infectious pandemic shows that the small things we do matter. If they can have profound negative impacts, their positive impacts can be profound as well. We are responsible for each other’s health and well-being in tangible ways.

There is a deepened recognition of the importance of hygiene and personal space. May our post-COVID-19 world be a cleaner one. As an introvert, if people emerge from this with greater respect for each other’s personal space bubbles, I’d appreciate that too.

Many of us have become more conscious of our health. As far as I know, I have not contracted the coronavirus, but the stress of the pandemic contributed to other forms of illness at a couple points. I’ve come to recognize the importance of resting, taking the mental burden off, and caring for my body in a way I didn’t before. We are all vulnerable.

I’m also appreciating some of the resourceful solutions to lockdown problems. No gym access? Run in the park. It’s nice to connect with the outdoors, and I’ve gotten faster. I’ve also gotten to know new areas near me, full of beautiful flora and fauna. Limited time and ingredients at the stores? Become a better pantry planner, and try new recipes to use up ingredients. As rough as the problem is and has been, I hope that many of us come out of this with improved problem-solving abilities.

What have you done during the pandemic to take care of yourself and others? What new ways of doing things (if any) would you like to continue?  

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Some Recent Fantastic Reads by Black Authors

Black lives matter. This should be something obvious, not something that needs to be said. But recent news shows just how deeply racial tensions run, how embedded they are in our institutions, and how much harm they cause.

In the interest of supporting Black creators, I’ve put together a list of books by Black authors that I read and enjoyed recently. This is by no means a ranking, definitive guide, or anything like that. Instead, it’s an idiosyncratic list of well-crafted, fun, and moving (mostly genre) books which often share perspectives and insights that may be new to white readers. Hopefully you’ll find something in there that you’ll enjoy reading from cover to cover!

YA and Middle Grade

Akata Witch / Akata Warrior by Nnedi Okorafor: This series has been called “the Nigerian Harry Potter”, and it delivers on magic and worldbuilding. 12-year-old Sunny, who’s albino and was born in the US, is treated as an outsider once her family returns to Nigeria. Then new friendships reveal her hidden magic and a whole new society of Leopard people. Expect adventure and an astonishing world, grounded in Nigerian myths and realities, that you will wish you could visit. 

The Belles by Dhonielle Clayton: In a world where citizens are born grey, a select group of women has the power to magically alter people’s appearances, allowing them to conform to the latest fashions and be “beautiful”. Camilla is one of these young women, and she discovers that her world’s beauty culture has sinister roots. Expect beautiful prose and a thought-provoking contemplation of beauty standards.

The Poet X by Elizabeth Acevedo: Afro-Latina teen Xiaomara finds her voice as a slam poet in this moving novel told in verse. There are a lot of truths here about fraught family dynamics, first love, and more, and they are expressed with raw beauty. Get the tissues ready!

Fantasy and Science Fiction

A Taste of Honey by Kai Ashante Wilson: A gay fantasy romance that uses dialect in deft and unique ways. When Aqib’s country is visited by foreign soldiers, he meets Lucrio and encounters the ideas of a nation where same-sex relationships are accepted. A choice unfolds: does he stay with his familiar settings and beloved zookeeping responsibility, or does he leave with Lucrio into the unknown? This novella beautifully explores two parallel lives. 

The Murders of Molly Southbourne by Tade Thompson: A gripping science fiction horror novella. Every time Molly bleeds, a copy of herself emerges, intent on killing her. She is taught to murder them in turn. It’s a strange, eerie book about threat and escape that I couldn’t put down.

Binti by Nnedi Okorafor: Mathematically gifted Binti is the first Himba person to be accepted to a university off-planet, but her space travel is disrupted by the alien Meduse, who the university has wronged. This is a highly inventive novella about building bridges between warring groups of people (including extraterrestrial people in this case).   

Romance

A Princess in Theory / A Prince on Paper by Alyssa Cole: The Reluctant Royals series is beloved for good reason: it takes a critical eye to the tropes of royal romance while revelling in their best parts. In A Princess in Theory, an epidemiologist gets spam emails from an African prince she is betrothed to, only to discover that they’re real. A Prince on Paper is my favorite in the series, featuring a sensitive playboy hero and a heroine who is deeply kind. There are further books in the series, too, on my TBR list. 

Let It Shine by Alyssa Cole: Two childhood friends, a Black “good girl” and a Jewish boxer, reunite and fight for civil rights in this sweet, impactful novella. The Civil Rights movement in the 1960s takes center stage as the main character finds her voice.

Fit by Rebekah Weatherspoon: Another short romance, for those who like their reads on the spicy side. A TV producer seeks out a personal trainer, who proposes an unconventional arrangement for getting her fit.  

Nonfiction

Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body by Roxane Gay: This memoir does not present a triumphant narrative arc but rather a messy, complicated reckoning. Gay writes with honesty and sensitivity about the trauma of early sexual assault, her compulsion to eat in order to be safe, what it’s like to move through the world in a very large, “unruly” body, and learning to take care of her physical self. I found it moving while giving me a lot to consider and grapple with.   

To this list, I add my recommendations of Children of Blood and Bone (YA fantasy) and An Unkindness of Ghosts (science fiction) from a previous blog post.

What are some books by Black authors that you enjoyed? Let’s keep the recommendations coming! 

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Creative Coping

My local park in the spring during lockdown

I write this from home, where I now do my full-time job, giving new meaning to the term “in-house”! A spider plant from work sits on my kitchen table. I grabbed it in a panic when the UK government announced that all non-essential workers would henceforth be working from home. I didn’t want it to die. A month ago, my aunt was in the hospital, unconscious and on a ventilator. I’m grateful that she is now coronavirus-free; not everyone has been so fortunate.  

A lot is going on. Many of us are confined to our quarters, dodging our neighbors whenever we leave the house lest someone be carrying an infection. Some countries are starting to reopen spheres of public life, with mixed results. Socioeconomic divisions are more visible than ever. Some people have been laid off, some are balancing childcare and professions in the same living space, and some continue to work in hazardous conditions. People’s access to resources and private space varies widely. Even for the most privileged, though, living through COVID-19 isn’t easy. We are all dealing with increased stress, anxiety, and uncertainty.

While it’s harder for our brains to focus when they are under this kind of pressure, creativity has come through for many of us as a way of coping with a changed and stressful environment. People are telling funny stories about their pets as coworkers, taking up baking and crafts, and creating virtual events and communities that didn’t exist before. 

Why is creativity useful now? For one thing, it’s a way of expressing ourselves, channeling our anxieties and experiences of this strange new world by creating something new. For another, it can be calming, with the process of making art or crafts grounding us when we have limited opportunities to engage with the physical world. Creativity is also born of resourcefulness – limited ingredients in the pantry, for instance, can spark new meal ideas, and museums’ challenge to recreate famous works of art with objects at home have yielded impressive results. 

I’ve found that my attention span has dwindled, and I’m not as focused on longer projects as I have been at other points. Briefer ideas and bursts of expression are more my speed in these isolation days. I’ve been taking photos during daily government-permitted exercise outings and writing a lot of poetry about the virus. I’ve made kimchi for the first time, with this recipe yielding good results. I’ve enjoyed an online poetry writing retreat and read free e-books that authors have shared. Making stuff and enjoying things that others make reminds me that hope persists. We are experiencing collective challenges, but we can still bring new and beautiful things into the world in the midst of them.   

What creative activities are helping you get through the pandemic?

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The Bestseller Experiment: Can You Write a Bestselling Book in a Year?

For two years, I’ve wanted to go to London Book Fair. This year I was finally going to get there, accompanying colleagues to look after ICE Publishing’s stand, network, and learn. Then, as you can probably guess, the fair was cancelled due to the coronavirus. The sound reason did not dim my disappointment. Despite the cancellation, though, I got one good thing out of the London Book Fair: acquaintance with the Bestseller Experiment. 

When reading through the list of Insights Seminars planned for the fair, I saw that there was a live episode planned for the Bestseller Experiment podcast. The name intrigued me. A bestseller is a big promise. What could a “bestseller experiment” be and how did it work? I looked the podcast up and discovered it was created by two British men, both named Mark, who sought to write, edit, publish, and market a bestselling book in a year. What an awesomely audacious goal! I began listening, and soon I was hooked. 

The pair of podcasters make appealing foils for each other. Mark Stay is a seasoned writer, with a novel and movie to his name, and a veteran employee of the traditional publishing industry. With the benefits and cynicism of experience, he acts as the podcast’s pessimist, skeptical of the likelihood of success but game to go forward. Mark Desvaux, a Canada-based life coach who’d started books prior to the podcast but hadn’t finished them, is the pair’s optimist, bringing enthusiastic belief in their success and a sense of spirituality to offset his co-host’s national outlook. It’s fun to listen to the two Marks bouncing off each other. What really makes the podcast shine, though, is the caliber of its interviews. 

From the get-go, Mark and Mark interview industry professionals and bestselling authors of both traditional and indie titles. They set out to find the “secret sauce” that makes a book or an author into a bestseller, speaking to the likes of Bryan Cranston, Joanne Harris, Joe Abercrombie, Michelle Paver, Shannon Mayer, and professionals from NaNoWriMo, Kindle Direct Publishing, authors, agents, editors, and more. All the interviewees speak lucidly and eloquently about their craft and share a wealth of knowledge about the industry. Their writing journeys differ, from those who have worked in obscurity for years before having a sales or publishing “breakthrough” to early success stories, from those who hate revision to those who love it, but all share a belief in writing success because they have all experienced it. Every episode I’ve listened to so far has been worth the time, and all have left me with a feeling of hope.  

What bestselling secrets has the podcast shared? So far, the interviewed authors share a belief in taking yourself seriously as a writer (most of them write every day and set themselves word counts), having deadlines (I share their experience of writing faster when somebody gives me a due date), and writing about topics that matter to you. Again and again, the authors reiterate that you can’t write a bestseller cynically, and that good books come out of love of the subject you’re writing about. Many of them recommend go-to books on the craft of writing, and some share marketing tips. Editors and agents encourage writers not to worry about trends and to write what they’re interested in. The need for self-care when writing is also explored.  

The Marks also share the stages of their journey in writing a book. In one of my favorite episodes, Ben Aaronovitch tells them off for writing a 50,000-word “outline”! I also enjoyed listening to the Marks discuss an editor’s critique of their manuscript. Since they wrote about a female protagonist, the editor suggested using a female pseudonym, and I’m pleased to note that they succeeded without one (though Mark Desvaux used the shorter pen name ‘Mark Oliver’). It’s no spoiler to note that the Marks indeed wrote and self-published a Kindle bestselling novel in a year. Back to Reality is a fast-paced story about time-travel, body swapping and the lives one could have lived. Its success doesn’t surprise me given the excellence of the Marks’ podcasting platform, but it does make me smile. They did it! And the podcast is still going and growing, with many of their listeners publishing books including more bestsellers. If you’ve ever dreamed of writing a bestseller, you might enjoy listening to it, too. Thank you, London Book Fair!   

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Following The Artist’s Way Again, Over 10 Years Later

Five pelicans groom themselves in St. James’ Park, London, during one of my Artist Dates.

During the first year of my undergraduate studies, I encountered a book called The Artist’s Way. A classmate who’d completed a visual arts program told me about the volume and how his class had used it at art school. Julia Cameron’s book has sold over 3 million copies and inspired countless artists, but this was my first encounter with it. I was intrigued by my friend’s stories of how the book inspired an outpouring of productivity and gave him the courage to use masses of high-quality paint rather than being stingy. I wanted to check this book out myself.

I found a copy of The Artist’s Way in a used bookstore. One of my classes at the time involved a project in which we all found something we’d always wanted to do and did it. I’d always wanted to paint, and I used this book as inspiration. I started writing Morning Pages, following Cameron’s practice of writing three pages longhand every morning in which you vent, brainstorm, and babble. I went on Artist Dates, inspiring solo outings, though I no longer remember where I went. 

I did Cameron’s exercises, listing activities I’d always wanted to do and “secret selves” who reflected aspects of my personality that I didn’t typically express. To be candid, I only made my way partway through the book, but by the end of the year, I had in fact learned to paint. I hung some of my pieces in my dorm room, and painting entered the repertoire of arts I practiced and believed myself capable of doing. I also tried out other art forms, writing a good song and a not-as-good-but-still-finished musical. The Artist’s Way, even imperfectly followed, was a wellspring of inspiration. Once the year ended, inspired and enlivened, I moved on.

Near the end of 2019, over a decade later, an intriguing call for submissions got me writing a fantasy short story on the commute to and from my editing job. I got started but alternated between chipping away at the story and sitting there with a muddled, unproductive brain. I wanted to keep up my momentum, to keep writing, so I found myself picking up a tool I hadn’t used in years: the Morning Pages. 

On mornings when my brain wasn’t up to the task, I used my time on the London tube to ramble in my notebook about what was happening in my life. From there, spurred on by seeing a friend posting about The Artist’s Way on social media, I began to follow the book in earnest. My story coaxed me into taking a second walk down the Artist’s Way. 

A lot has changed since my first half-finished use of Cameron’s tools. I’ve moved from the creatively nurturing nest that my university provided for me to the daily routine of a full-time job, moving in a circuitous path that’s included freelancing, multiple careers, and entrepreneurship. I’ve lived in three different countries. I’ve published a successful book and dozens of short pieces. Having come from a place of early success, I’ve also become very familiar with failure. I’ve been prolific at times, blocked at times, and overly reticent with submissions. The drive of creative inspiration has at many points given way to the need to get things done. 

This need has given me a new perspective on The Artist’s Way. I’m discovering that it is, in fact, an ingenious organizational tool. The Morning Pages remind me of forgotten items to check off my to-do list and help me organize my creative projects. Sometimes bits of writing emerge from the pages, but more often than not they resemble vacuuming – getting the mind clean and ready for work. The Artist Dates have taken me on walks around the neighborhood where I work, enjoying the splendors of Buckingham Palace and St. James’ Park, becoming familiar with the birds and flowers there. For some, Artist Dates bring a welcome sense of adventure. For me, they’ve brought a deeper connection and grounding in my surroundings.  

The first time I tried The Artist’s Way, I was much closer to being that “artist child” that Cameron wants her readers to reconnect with inside themselves. I was less familiar with the challenges of the marketplace and had largely received encouragement in my writing and creative pursuits. I’d experienced the sting of some failures, but not on the scale that adulthood would bring. With this context, the encouragement offered by The Artist’s Way has been much more powerful the second time around. 

Engaging with the book’s exercises has not been easy. They’ve opened old wounds and questions about my future. However, the changes have been profound. I’d expected to discover an exotic array of new interests or begin engaging with new art forms the way I did last time. Instead, my inner voice piped up loud and clear that I want to write and need to fight for that desire. 

I was reminded of being eight years old and imagining that I would someday write all the things I read – mystery novels, advertisements, nature magazines, newspapers, everything! I remembered submissions that got lost and wondered why I hadn’t followed up. I became determined to follow that voice urging me to write all kinds of things, write what’s fun, and not put limits on myself. It’s okay that I want to be focused right now, that I don’t want to crochet or make a podcast. It’s okay that I’m scared to fail over and over. I’m determined to listen to my inner voice and honor that eight-year-old’s dreams. 

So, what’s changed in my life since beginning my second journey with The Artist’s Way? I’ve written a short story and several poems, begun a novella in a new genre, finished revising a manuscript and submitting it to my first round of agents, and embarked upon a “100 submissions a year” challenge. (I’m going for submissions rather than rejections because it’s a concrete goal within my control. One of these has already turned into an acceptance, and I’m certainly not sulking about it!) 

I’ve taken the initiative to create a blog for authors at my job. I’ve come up with several ideas for potential writing projects. I’ve started learning about linguistics and spent a morning picking up a few phrases in Swahili. I’ve gotten back in touch with some old friends, reached out to my great-aunt about family recipes, and grown very familiar with the pelicans of St. James’ Park. Fear, realism, and cynicism tango with hope and the excitement of infinite possibilities. Here I stand, in the middle of the Artist’s Way, and this time I’m determined to make it to the end.

Have you tried The Artist’s Way? What was your experience like?

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The Reluctant Author’s Guide to Revisions

So, you’ve finished the first draft you were writing. Congratulations! It takes a lot of effort and discipline to get this far. Take time to acknowledge the work you put in, celebrate its completion, and take a break in order to give yourself some distance from the work.

Maybe you’ve done this. Maybe that break has taken a little too long now, and you’re reluctant to get back to work on your project. Maybe you’re scared to begin editing it, or you aren’t sure how to start.

That was me not long ago after I’d finished the first draft of a manuscript. Even though I edit and write as my job, I got stuck this time around and wasn’t quite sure what to do next. It took time to get moving, but this is what I did, and these are some of the things that worked for me. Maybe they’ll work for you, too.

  1. Get feedback: If this is your first book, or if it’s a different type of project from the ones you’ve written before (like this manuscript was for me), feedback from an objective outside source can be especially helpful to give you a sense of your book’s pros and cons. I recommend reaching out to people with expertise in the area you’ve written about and asking them to review your manuscript. Both written and oral feedback can be helpful, as is getting multiple opinions—one person will catch issues that another person misses. It can also be useful to find a reader or readers who aren’t as familiar with your subject. These people can point out areas that are confusing, where your writing will benefit from further clarification.
  2. Get focused: What’s your book about? Do you know your project’s topic and key messages, or have these changed while you were writing? Feedback can help you see what others perceive your book’s focus to be. Another way to get a sense of this is to reread your book and write a summary or blurb about it, highlighting the main points of what you read. If the book you’ve finished is different from the book you set out to start, your revisions will need to either build on the new focus or build a bridge back to the old one. If you’re writing on contract, your book might need some revisions to make sure that it still follows the focus you were asked to write about. Either way, there are ways to make a change of focus into an advantage.
  3. Take out unnecessary things: As you were reviewing your book’s focus, you or others may have found that parts of it distract from the main idea. If something seems off-topic and doesn’t add to the point you’re making, it may not belong there. Make sure you save your draft, and once you’ve done that, don’t be afraid to cut the unnecessary bits. These might be chapters, topics, or sentences.
  4. Boredom-proof your book: Are your readers bored at any point? When you reread your manuscript, are there places where you’re bored? Your intended audience is interested in your topic, but that doesn’t mean that you will automatically have their attention. A book still needs to be engaging and relevant. A boring section might be overly dry; if that’s the case, liven up the language and try adding examples. It might mean that an explanation is too long—if so, condense it. It might be confusing—if so, work on clarity. Ask yourself why this section reads as boring—and rewrite it until you’re interested in reading it again.
  5. Add more when needed: Just as rereading and getting feedback can show you where you need to cut things, it can also show you places where you need to expand. Identify these places and then identify what they’re missing. Do they need more explanation or more examples? Do some of your ideas need to be connected more closely? Do you need to do more research? Once you know what you’re missing, work on adding it in.
  6. Check spelling, grammar, and flow: Once you’re happy with the changes you’ve made to the content, take a look at the technical aspects of your manuscript. Use a spelling and grammar checker, along with your own eyes, to ferret out typos. Work on smoothing out your sentences. If you have an editor, they will help a lot with this too, but they’ll also be thankful if you take the time to reread your manuscript and edit out the errors and clunky bits you spot!
  7. Vary your writing routine: Sometimes a boring routine is a factor that gets in the way of writing. If that’s the case for you—if you’re dreading sitting at that same old desk where you wrote your first draft, for example—try something new. Put on music that creates an enjoyable space for writing, whether it’s energizing or calming. Write in a different place, whether that’s a café, a quiet retreat, or a room full of other writers working simultaneously. Write at a different time from the usual. Try printing out your pages, rereading them, and editing them longhand. Sometimes changing the way you write is all you need to get into that editing headspace to make your writing the best it can be!


Revising your book can be an anxiety-inducing prospect, but it doesn’t have to be. The tips above will help you complete a book that brings your ideas clearly into the world and puts your best foot forward.

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This New Year, Be Yourself

Every year around late December and early January, I see posts on social media about new year’s resolutions. I’ve made a bit of a tradition of writing about this phenomenon, whether it’s giving tips about setting effective goals by being more specific or reflecting on the need for baby steps toward change rather than planning to overhaul one area of your life all at once. There’s something about the process of resolution-making that both inspires and annoys me. Here are my thoughts for this new year’s rant: How many of us are setting goals based on the person we are, and how many of us are making resolutions that we hope will transform us into someone else? 

Over the holidays, I watched a documentary about Mister Rogers. One of the songs featured on his iconic children’s TV show, Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, and explored in the film, began like this:  

“I like you as you are 
Exactly and precisely 
I think you turned out nicely 
And I like you as you are.”  

He said that every child needed to hear that message, because it’s not something that children are told. I realized that adults don’t hear this either. No matter your age, this message has an impact.  

A lot of new year’s efforts have the noble goal of adding value to our lives. Health-related habit changes can bring us energy and vitality. Ambitious goals can help us achieve the things that we wish to. At times, though, these efforts are inspired from without instead of from within. We’re told to be this way or that way, and we take the things the world tells us to be and turn them into our yearly aspirations for self-improvement, which we may or may not carry out. Rather than being accepted and accepting ourselves exactly as we are, we treat ourselves as things that must change.  

What if we took this decade as a time to be more ourselves? We could set goals that take who we are and accentuate it. Goals that celebrate the best parts of us. Goals that nourish parts of ourselves we know are there but don’t always express. Or we could set aside goal setting for the time being and take time to be.   

There are things I’d like to do in 2020, but I’ll take my old self with me as I do them. No “new me”… just a new year, a new decade, and whatever they happen to bring. 

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2019 in Review

It’s nice, at the end of the year, to look back on the last 12 months and celebrate accomplishments big and small. Time passes so quickly that it’s easy to wonder where the year went. Taking time to reflect on the last year helps to remember and appreciate that the time went to good use. Here are my highlights from 2019. What are yours?  

2019 publications round-up 

This was a big poetry year for me.

Hashtag Queer: LGBTQ+ Creative Anthology, Volume 3 published my sequence of “Tacit poems”. Qommunicate Publishing has been a great supporter of my work, including the more experimental pieces. 

Haiku Journal published my rain haiku in issue 63. (You can read individual issues of the journal online here, and there is a lovely print version as well.)

Lift Every Voice is a lovely new anthology that published my poem “You, the shadow you cast”.

My personal essay “Learning to Paint” was also published by Heart and Humanity in February.

I have three more publications forthcoming as well. Among them, Qommunicate’s Geek Out! II anthology will be publishing my poem/script hybrid geeking out about performance and semiotics, and House of Zolo’s first journal of speculative literature will include one of my poems when it’s released in January.

New job

I had a wonderful time working at RUSI, but moved on at the end of the year to the role of Development Editor at ICE Publishing. I’m excited to be working on books and taking a bigger-picture position.  

Enneagram corporate training

Last spring, I was invited to my old city, Edinburgh, to do an Enneagram-based corporate training for Turnitin. This company makes a program I used in my old university teaching job! The leadership team purchased copies of my book, The Modern Enneagram, for all the attendees. They were a delightful, engaged group, and it was fun to spend time in Edinburgh again (despite the rainy weather). It was my first time leading a corporate training where I traveled out of town.

Work-life balance

With a new job and new financial opportunities, I’ve been able to say no to work that hasn’t been a good fit. I’ve moved into a new flat that’s nicer than my previous one. I’ve taken some time to travel and am appreciating the value that’s placed on holidays in the UK. I’m grateful to see improvements in work-life balance after a 2018 that involved a lot of “hustling”.

What was your 2019 like? What big and small things do you appreciate about the past year?

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